I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
