Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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