Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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