i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
