apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
