This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
