she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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