We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
