Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
