bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
