my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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