i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
