I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
