Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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