You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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