is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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