Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize