You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
