My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
