the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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