real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
