oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
