He is an equal opportunity slut.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
