Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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