He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
