So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
