I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
