yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
