think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
