just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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