It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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