I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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