Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
