why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
