In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize