why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
