So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
