You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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