oh god the rape fog is back!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
