How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
