Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
