she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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