My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize