i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
