we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
