Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
