i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
