I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
