there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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