Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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