im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
