Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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