She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
