operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
