EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
