Whod you bang
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
