who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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