Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
