I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
