when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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