They should really pass out barf bags in church
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
