Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
