Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
